Fun, mates and something hard to do
Tell a 12-year-old boy you have found a programme to develop his resilience, communication and problem-solving, and watch his eyes glaze over.
Tell him he’ll be doing challenges with a crew of boys his age, and you have a fighting chance.
A September 2026 report from the Aspen Institute and the American Institute for Boys and Men (founded by Richard Reeves) helps explain why. It drew on a US survey of 3,827 young people aged 10–17, alongside focus groups and other research.
Among boys currently playing organised sport, “playing with friends” and “having fun” were the leading attractions, selected by 50% each. Learning or improving skills and challenging themselves followed at 29% each.
The point is not that boys want everything made easy. They want something difficult that is enjoyable to attempt with people they like.
Beyond the sports field
The research was primarily about sport, but the first principles travel.
A worthwhile challenge gives an activity purpose. Other boys provide camaraderie and belonging. Learning a skill creates visible progress. Fun keeps them coming back long enough for the learning to take hold.
The same pattern can apply to problem solving, drama, outdoor pursuits, robotics, music or any activity that lets boys participate rather than merely listen. And if they can do it with peers “like me” - so much the better.
Adults often pull the ingredients apart. Fun becomes it’s own thing. Challenge becomes serious. Learning becomes school.
The report also found that “I’m not good enough” was the leading dislike among boys who had quit sport and those who had never started.
Boys want challenge, but not humiliation.
The sweet spot is challenging enough to matter, safe enough to attempt and social enough to make them want to return.
The TOOLKT take
At TOOLKT, fun is built into real learning. It is not a lightweight after-school activity designed simply to keep boys entertained. They plan, solve problems, speak, write, remember and work in teams under pressure. The challenges make the skills real; the crew makes boys want to return.
